Don

er People’s Problems Or You Will Get Sickpreventing others from having their necessary and
Let me give you a very effective recipe for “gettingvaluable learning experience: they must learn how to
sick as soon as possible”: just go and try to fix otherresolve problems by themselves. They must learn
people’s problems! I’m not kidding!how to generate energy by themselves. If
Always trying to come up with solutions to problemsyou’re always around, they will never bother to
that aren’t yours is a dangerous road to follow.find a creative solution to their problems, because
Always ask yourself, “Whose problem is ityou’re keeping them from becoming more
anyway?” If the answer is “his” or “hers,”mature and independent. Some people always
then do not interfere! Never help when you have notinterfere with other people’s business, under the
been asked to help! Let me give you a very effectiveguise of helping out. But there are also people who
recipe for “getting sick as soon as possible”: justalways look for others to help them out, rather than
go and try to fix other people’s problems!doing it themselves. If people, even those people close
I’m not kidding! Always trying to come up withto you, are always waiting for you to help them out,
solutions to problems that aren’t yours is athen say “no” if you feel they should get out of
dangerous road to follow. Why is that? First, becausethis mess by themselves. This sounds rather harsh, I
you are dwelling in the energy field of another person,know. However, letting your teenagers or grown-up
and you don’t belong there. Second, becausechildren struggle to resolve their issues by themselves,
while being in another’s energy field where youis an act of love! Your heart may be hurting for the
don’t belong, you cannot be present in yourtime being, but you also know that if you let them
own energy field. So you’re making twohandle things by themselves, they will learn the most
mistakes at the same time. Always ask yourself,valuable lesson there is: “I can do this all by
“Whose problem is it anyway?” If the answer ismyself!” So step aside, and let them discover their
“his” or “hers,” then do not interfere! Neverown inner strength. Observe, watch, be at the ready
help when you have not been asked to help! We arefor if things get out of hand, but don’t interfere.
talking about personal issues, of course, not about lifeTo say it cruelly: it’s not your problem, it’s
threatening situations. When your neighbor’stheirs! Your heart may be bleeding, but don’t
house is burning down, you should immediately providepay the rent for your 25 year old son. Let him look for
assistance. Or when someone has been hit by a car,a job by himself. Don’t give him a job at the
then you shouldn’t first figure out whosesame bank where daddy’s working! That would
problem it is. In cases like this you will instinctively helpbe too easy, and you would be confirming his idea that
out. But in all other situations, the rule is: keep out ofdaddy is always around to fill in the blanks. No! Son
problems that don’t belong to you! Only if youdear should learn to fill in the blanks himself. If he has to
are really longing to bear a huge load on yourwork a job in the factory to be able to pay the bills at
shoulders, only if you enjoy carrying heavy weightsthe end of the month, then let him do so. Even if it
and having backaches, then indeed should you keephurts you watching this play out, and even if it’s
trying to resolve other people’s problems. Thehard on him as well. Don’t take this important
golden rule for those who have the tendency to helplearning opportunity away from him! Loving is not the
too much is: don’t help at all! Unless you aresame as helping. Stepping aside is much more an act
explicitly asked to help, AND if you feel like it! In all otherof love than always being right there to do whatever it
cases you are not really helping the other, but you areis you think they cannot! Their self-esteem grows with
interfering. Most of the time helping someone is anthe ability to resolve problems all by themselves.
excuse, so that you can keep busy and forget aboutDon’t take this opportunity away from them.
the emptiness inside yourself. In this case you areAsk yourself, “Whose problem is it?” You are
“using” the other to fill your own emptiness. InNOT the one to resolve the problems of your children!
other cases wanting to help may be a controlLet them do it! Let them feel what life is really about,
mechanism. By helping the other you are actuallyand let them feel the satisfaction of being able to find
eclipsing the other’s life. How many mothers gotheir own solutions. Don’t get involved in other
on washing their son’s clothes even after hepeople’s problems. Your boss, colleagues,
has turned thirty? How many mothers keephusband, mother-in-law, friends and children, let them all
overshadowing the lives of their grown-up children?find their own solutions. Their problems belong to them,
Mum should return to her own life and give her childrennot to you! The appropriate solutions have to come
some space to grow up and find out for themselves. Iffrom them, not from you! This way you will save a lot
you’re always by their side, always thereof energy enabling you to move on with your own life.
“helping out,” then you are casting a shadow onTrying to resolve problems that do not belong to you is
their life, because you are blocking some of thean express-ticket to severe fatigue and depression!
sunlight. Make way and let them bask in the sunYou don’t have to interfere, and you
without interference. Don’t help, unless help isshouldn’t. Give everyone the freedom to
asked for and you really feel like lending a hand.resolve his own problems. And you? Resolve your
Don’t propose to help, but let the other ask you.own! You don’t have any problems? Thank
If you are offering help all the time, then you areGod for that! Now go on and LIVE!