| A week ago, I called my mom and dad to wish them a | | | | me to talk about this. The other implications are harder. |
| happy 48th anniversary day, but I think the wishes | | | | As an educator, I came up with an educational |
| were for me, more than for them. I thanked them for | | | | approach. |
| being together, for loving each other, for going through | | | | Just like in education it is better to encourage than to |
| tough things together and for surviving. I wished them | | | | punish - focus on the good and ignore the bad - I |
| 30 more years together. Living to be 100 years old | | | | thought that people like my mom and dad should be |
| together is a great wish. | | | | rewarded for living together for such a long time. |
| My mum and dad are simple people, yet they are | | | | The government spends so much money to support |
| special and unique, because they belong to a group of | | | | divorced people, which in a sense promotes divorce. I |
| only 5% of people who are living together after so | | | | am not saying people should be forced to be together |
| many years. | | | | if they have problems, but I am saying they should be |
| Look at this list of marriage statistics: | | | | encouraged to work out their problems and be given |
| - 82% reach their 5th anniversary | | | | some incentive to stay together. |
| - 65% reach their 10th anniversary | | | | All the couples in the world have problems. Some of |
| - 52% reach their 15th anniversary | | | | them can be helped and solved with the right |
| - 33% reach their 25th anniversary | | | | motivation. Lots of heartache can be prevented long |
| - 20% reach their 35th anniversary, and | | | | before they reach divorce. The government can give |
| - only 5% reach their 50th anniversary | | | | incentives to people motivated to find solutions rather |
| I only need to have a session with my clients every | | | | than pour money into helping people who divorce. |
| day, to realise how special my parents are and how | | | | Which approach do you think will change the divorce |
| much I need to thank them for being there together for | | | | rate? |
| such a long time, because it made life so much easier | | | | So why not calculate how much money is dedicated |
| for me and I am grateful. | | | | to families who divorce - support for double |
| In my kids' class, many kids have two homes, more | | | | accommodations, child benefits, single parent support, |
| than one mother or father and half siblings. The school | | | | educational support for children in divorced families and |
| system is making a huge effort to cater for children | | | | (mental) health support for parents and children due to |
| who need sets of homework in dad's house and | | | | divorce. Then, give couples bonuses for their |
| another set in mom's house. Where I grew up, we | | | | anniversary, taking into account the length of their |
| may have had one kid out of 100 in my grade whose | | | | marriage and the age and number of children they |
| parents were divorced. My son tells me he is not sure | | | | have (something like a "second honeymoon" bonus |
| where he can call his friends, because he is not sure | | | | would be nice). These bonuses can be great |
| where they live on a given day. This is becoming | | | | motivators for people to work on their relationship and |
| common, since 38% of children are in a similar situation. | | | | people can use them to address some of the reasons |
| The divorce rate in the world reaches 68% in some | | | | for divorce - learn stress management, communication |
| countries and the toll on society is increasing. If the | | | | skills, intimacy and conflict resolution, or just reduce |
| government is supporting families, lucky us, the | | | | financial difficulties and treat emotional problems. |
| governments suddenly (well, it is never sudden, it | | | | Here we are, back to education. Promote the desired |
| happens slowly) need to pay more, help more | | | | behaviour. Do you have any doubt that happy families |
| because divorced people have now two houses that | | | | should be the aim? |
| the kids live in. the parent that leave the house, must | | | | I told my mom and dad I was very proud to be their |
| leave somewhere right!? | | | | daughter and I appreciated them for making the effort |
| So when I called mom and dad to say "happy | | | | to love each other and being a role model by making it |
| anniversary", I asked myself, "How can we fix this | | | | to the top 5%. Until the government starts giving them |
| problem?" I am only talking about the financial | | | | bonuses, I hope my appreciation is good enough. |
| implications of this epidemic, by the way. It is easier for | | | | |