| We meet. We fall in love. It is perfect; everything we | | | | failure. This doesn't excuse it but may help you |
| always expected it to be - 'Happy Ever After' | | | | understand why this might have happened. |
| because that is what all the love stories and the | | | | Occasionally fear presents as one of the couple |
| movies promise us. These stories however leave off | | | | seemingly wanting to spend more time with others or |
| the moment a couple falls in love. They don't show | | | | with an activity eg sports or even work. Maybe the |
| you what happens next; the return to reality. | | | | fear is just too great for them to be fully honest with |
| So why does it go so bad when it all seemed so right? | | | | themselves or with you about its existence. Perhaps |
| The short answer is that there are as many answers | | | | they don't even realize what's going on as so much of |
| to this as there are couples who have been in this | | | | what we do comes from an unconscious place and is |
| situation. Some of the reasons why it can go so bad | | | | not really thought through well enough. Most often we |
| include problems with in-laws or cultural differences. | | | | just act, find some justification for it and that is what |
| Remember Romeo and Juliet; Star-crossed lovers | | | | we then tell ourselves, and others, in a vain attempt to |
| whose relationship was doomed right from the very | | | | escape the pain of the truth. |
| beginning? And this was not because of them or their | | | | Sometimes this justification takes the form of false |
| lack of love but because of the squabbles between | | | | accusations. All these are just smoke screens for |
| their families. | | | | looking at what is really going on and for taking full |
| Other reasons why relationships are just not likely to | | | | responsibility for yourself in your relationships as well |
| work could include fear by one or the other of being | | | | as in your life. If this is you it might be time to look inside |
| so attached to another human that they run in terror | | | | of yourself for the answers as to what is going on in |
| of being hurt. This might have been because of an | | | | your relationships rather than trying to find blame in the |
| experience in a past relationship or maybe goes back | | | | other or trying to make the other change to fit your |
| to an experience from much earlier on in their lives | | | | expectations. |
| such as having a parent leave or die when they were | | | | Sometimes relationships go wrong because couples |
| children. | | | | are just not meant to be with each other - they are |
| Love addiction - jumping from one relationship to | | | | simply incompatible. This might be intellectually, socially |
| another | | | | or in their personal interests or simply a difference |
| Sometimes it may seem that someone has just | | | | between them about what is really important to each |
| walked away from a relationship without a second | | | | of them. |
| thought. It seems cruel and uncaring when maybe | | | | I'll say more about this in part two of this article/blog. I'll |
| what they are really trying to do is to keep themselves | | | | also offer some suggestions on what to do when you |
| from being swamped by their sadness and sense of | | | | find yourself in any one of the above situations. |